In memorium

First, I would like to apologize for not being consistent with updating....life happens. I have been having a great time in Japan, and particularly enjoy the fact that I can have beach days year-round. But that is not what sits me down at my computer today. Nor is it the excitement of imparting further antecdotes of babysitting or pearls of wisdom picked up from the same place. It is to humbly remember a great woman--my grandmother. I hadn't really intended for this blog to be quite so personal, mostly just about the experiences of our small family as we travel with the miltary....but I have to take a minute to remember the life of someone who deeply cared for all she met, and never met a challenge she wouldn't take on. Grandma meant the world to me, and on March 5, 2012, at about 6am CST, she left this earth to return to the open arms of her Heavenly Father. Almost a year after being diagnosed with cancer, she shed the pain of this earthly existence and travelled to a much better place. I'm writing this from Japan, unable to attend her funeral in AR that will be occuring in about 16 hours. I wanted more than anything to be with her in her final days, and present when she will be laid to rest, but that was not in the cards. I know she was well taken care of, and despite the emptiness I feel at not being able to do for her the best thing she taught me, and almost the only thing I know how to do really well, it was not meant for me to take care of my grandmother at the end of her life. Instead, I have been trying to remember the things that she taught and apply them into my daily dealings with others. The gentleness she showed to everyone, the patience, the quiet correction of behavior, the "let's wait and see what happens" attitude, her desire/willingness/ability to beautifully serve all the Lord sent her way. I am grateful to be a part of her legacy, and can only hope to be the kind of woman she was. The tears over her loss are not quite finished, but are far fewer and less frequent. We knew this end was coming, we prayed it would be "easy" and relatively painless. She has left a world of pain for a world of perfection, where she has joined family and friends gone before. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we know what lies on the other side. We know that we will all be together again through the sealing power of the Priesthood on the earth today. We know that death is a small step in the great Plan of Happiness that tells us where we came from, why we're here, and what happens next. My grandmother had completed the learning/growing phase of her eternal life, and it was time for her to "graduate" to the higher school of learning that only heaven can provide. We mourn the loss of her physical presence but rejoice in the knowledge that we will always have her near us in our hearts and thoughts. She taught generations that family is important and should always be at the top of our priority list. That being self-reliant isn't just a phase, its a way of life. Lifelong service brings lifelong happiness. I know she knew how badly I wanted to be there, and how frustrated I am that I couldn't. I take comfort in the knowledge that she knew how much I loved her and thought of her daily, and that she understood why I wasn't there. I can look back on the situation years down the road with no regret of how things turned out. Life isn't always what we plan, its what we make of what we have. Grandma taught me that. Grandma, we love and miss you dearly, but can't wait for the reunion when its our time to join you. I know you'll be watching over us and guiding us as we continue through this mortal probabtion.

All my love,
A